I had to find God myself. With a heavy heart I admit that this was not a gift given to me by blood, no, I had to seek it out, and I have much seeking to do still…
When I was still so young, Mother always told me the same wondrous story,
about a vast and radiant city in the sky, built of solid gold, imperceptible and immaculate.
Pristine. Beautiful.
Ordered.
Just as heaven is high and earth is low――
The honorable and humble have their place.
The three realms aligned in a solemn grace――
Shining above in the gilded palace.
Yes! I remember the wonder.
Father’s remonstrance of Ravana did little to dissuade,
as I dwelt upon visions of golden parades
for days and days and days and days.
of wishing and dreaming with my heart so ablaze.
Yes! I had so many questions.
What would it be like to live in an invisible city?
Who could have built it? By what means?
How would souls interact with one another?
What would a soul behold when it looked upon another in an invisible city?!
How would my soul appear to you?…
Still so young, it was these questions that festered within my heart like wily bugs.
And I wished.
And I dreamt.
Until the insight swept over me in an intoxicating mania.
And I first glimpsed it.
Yes, I remember my very first glimpse…
Yes!
Do you not you see?!
The frontier is vast, the groundwork, set.
But the city has not been constructed yet.
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Have you read Italo Calvino's Invisible Cities? Your text reminded me of that, very well written :)